Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize