Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have aggressive nipples.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
