Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
