it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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