you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
