Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
