thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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