How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
