you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
birth control should be required to get into college
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
