wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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