oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
