Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
