We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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