You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
