i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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