strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
