Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
