she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
