and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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