This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize