Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
