In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
