How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
