Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
