I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
