Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
