My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
