Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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