Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
