Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
