i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
