Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
