it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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