What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
