Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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