I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You need a sexual gate keeper
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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