I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
