you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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