Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
