Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
