There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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