they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
