my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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