i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
