I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
