people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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