saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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