I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
