Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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