I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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