we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
