dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
