Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
