yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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