it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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