this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
