oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
