when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
