Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
