i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
