what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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