Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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