there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize