Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
