Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize