$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
