I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
