I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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