How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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