i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
