She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
